Miyakonojo

Sorry it`s been a whole month since my last post. Just been busy. Just about every weekend I end up going on a trip, or I end up vegging and catch up on some US tv shows.

The memory card on my camera bit the dust a few nights ago. So I lost a bit of photos. I`ll have to go through my photos on my PC to find out how many I lost. I`ll try to post a few photos soon, but no promises. I`m going out of town again for the next two weekends.

A few weekends ago I went to hike a mountain. They call it the Mt. Fuji of Kyushu. I laughed as we got close, cause it looked tiny. My mistake was comparing it with the real Mt. Fuji. It had to have been taller than the Catalina`s back home though. It was a little tough. Actually, whoever told me it was a "hike" is a #$&!$ liar. It was a climb. The first half you are hiking up very loose pebbles, and its very steep. About 1/4th of the way up I was ready to call it quits. Seriously, it was way too much work. My clothes were already dripping wet from my sweat. There was literally not a single spot of dry clothes on me. But I figured, "meh, it can`t get much harder". Stupid mountain. Oh its actually an active volcano, but has not erupted for about 1200 years. Yeah, it got harder. Much harder. Climbing over boulders, having to get on hands and knees to climb a path of small boulders that are about 2 feet wide and to the left is a sheer drop off from the mountain. Yay.

They say a healthy adult can climb it in 2.5 hours. We did it in 2. There were 21 of us. By the time we got down, I had drank about 1.5 gallons of water and was still massively dehydrated. Seriously, if your not in shape you can`t climb this thing. But the most humbling part was all the other people. About 2/3rds up my pace slowed a little because of a group of people in front of me. The "path" is about a foot or two wide so passing is not an option unless you wanna fall off the mountain trying. But we were still moving at a fairly aggressive pace. I found out later it was being led by a 70yo couple. They were not even sweating as much as I was. They also looked fine, whereas I looked like I had just clawed my way out of a grave. I`m pretty sure when I`m 70 the last place you will find me is climbing this mountain.

Seriously, this was the most strenuous thing I can recall doing. Ever. I hate exercise. Not to mention seeing all the bees and giant hornets up there. There is absolutely no way a rescue squad can get to anybody up there anytime soon. Would take a full day to extract you. Airlift would be pretty difficult or impossible depending on what area of the path you were on.

The next day we ended up going to a hot sand bath. I was thinking being buried in hot wet sand did not sound like fun at all. When I left Arizona, I was pretty happy to leave the sand behind. However this was the most pleasant experience ever. I would try to explain it, but I could not do it justice at all. I gotta say I would climb that mountain all over again if it meant I could take another sand bath. But I think next time I`ll just drive past the mountain strait to the sand baths.

In other news, I made a big purchase yesterday. I could wait no longer. I bought a super duper electronic ass cleaning, ass massaging, heated seat, laser guided toilet seat. It senses when I walk into the bathroom, and it instantly heats up the toilet seat before I can sit down. I`ve tried to surprise it, I even bum rushed it in the middle of the night in pure blackness. It was waiting for me. No more need for toilet paper, this thing has like a gazillion ways to clean your bum. Not only can you set the type of spray, it`s even heated. Another cool function is the green "x marks the spot" laser guided system. During the night when you lift up both toilet seats and take a pisser standing up, it tells you where to aim your stream via an eerie green glow. It also does this startup routine when you sit down that sounds like a mini jet airplane taking off. I think it cycles the water for some unknown reason and turns on an odor fan to keep unwanted smells from... smelling. I paid about $400 for mine. It`s far from the best model, but its well above the entry level. It even comes with a remote control!! Which as far as I can tell is useless for most people. I mean... your sitting down and you can`t move from the toilet what use is a remote you can use from the next room. There is only one possible use, which I will exploit to its fullest. I simply take said remote control out of the room, and find a sucker to test out my toilet. I then turn on the cold water, turn on the painful needle spray, turn it to full power, and hit start. Hilarity ensues.

If your anything like me before I tried one of these, you are fearing for my sanity right now. The first time I tried one, I only did so because I was not sure if I would get the opportunity to try one again. The first thing that goes through your mind is a mixture of "Holy crap what crazy dude thought of something this awkward" and "How have I been living without one of these for so long". I can`t believe it took me 2 months to finally buy one of these things.